Men are from Mars; women are from Venus

“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”: This highly publicized book by John Gray captured the imagination and attention of the world in 1992. Seventeen years after its publication, the world has seen numerous changes. The dawn of the new millennium heralded the millennium man, the metrosexual male, the man who is in touch with his feelings and is not ashamed to show it. The image of the Marlboro man, rugged and tough gave way to the more, dare I say it... effeminate man.

The perception of women, too, underwent a drastic change. Earlier, the immediate picture that came to mind when one thought of a woman was a charming, girlish, helpless, frail, and soft little creature who needed protection and who couldn’t quite figure out how the lock worked on the front door. The scenario today—A modern, emancipated adult with a cast-iron image, who not only knows how the lock works, but probably how to manufacture it as well!

So, while John Gray examined stereotypes in his book, the world woke up to the contravention of all stereotypes.

Gray’s book still did well, though. After all, which man wouldn’t want an insight into his spouse’s last emotional outburst and which woman wouldn’t want to know why her man turns into a block of stone each time she wants to just “talk”.

While this pop psychology was a hit with the masses, it put off the more discerning reader who knew that human psychology and the man-woman equation is too delicate and complicated a thing to be explained in a book with a frivolous-sounding title. At best, the book engaged the minds of teenagers or those in their early twenties who were trying to get a handle on their boyfriend or girlfriend. The target audience is probably the same segment of the population interested in Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs. Although, I must say, I found Linda Goodman far more interesting than John Gray.

I found one concept of his, interesting, though. Gray talks about how men and women react differently to stress. When confronted with a stressful situation, men are known to retreat into a “cave”, meaning they don’t want to talk about it; women on the other hand, experience waves or periods of time when they need encouragement to keep their spirits at a crest and avoid a crash.

Some feminists across the world have found this analysis harmful to a real dialogue between the sexes. They argue that it is patronizing as it is written from the man’s point of view and it basically exhorts women to adapt to the male pattern of communication.

Somehow, the gender divide seems to be a popular topic with the sexes, the world-over, leading women to exclaim “Oh, it’s like as if men are from a different planet” and for men to rue the same about women. But are we really that dissimilar, or are we just excited about waging a battle of the sexes to satisfy our primal urge to go to war?

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